Overheard, Part II

Ciao, amici! Again, I apologize for having been remiss in posting. I hope to make up for this by amusing you with yet more ridiculous quotes from the ladies.

"You're the pastiest, skinniest beached whale of them all."

"What do you guys want for dinner?"
"You know what I want."
"Hooters!"

"You have Santa boobs!"
"What?"
"They're red on top and white on the bottom. Like a Santa hat!"

"It said 'licking the book!'"

"Michelle would be a very top-heavy muppet"

"Now with extra Arab! It's high in caffeine."

"I was a mostly German child, and no one tried to make me into food!"

"Midget!"
"Person curled up in a ball!"
"Midget!"
"Person curled up in a ball!"
"Midget!"
"Midgets are funny. Alright, midget curled up in a ball!"
*high five*

"You're not the right gender or the right species."

"No eating my head."
"Why not?"
"Because I need it for thinking."
"Real reason, Michelle."

"If the heater was squishy it wouldn't burn your face."

"My brain farted on it."

"You're huggy and fuzzable."

"I'm dirty...like a whore but not the fun way."

"I thought it would be fun to pet the tree but it wasn't."

"Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder if it's really your face?"

"I like to lick my lips."

"Stop quoting Nietzsche you bitch!"

"I think it should be called smookah because it's like smoke but not."

"But Rob with an army of turtles makes sense!"

I really should just keep a tape recorder on me. It would make for such wonderful blackmail material.